by Bethany Lake
It was merely an answer to a question. I wasn’t trying to be a know-it-all or a Language Police officer or anything like that. The question posed by a Twitter (now X) personality was, “What’s the smallest hill you are willing to die on?” My answer: “The l in almond is silent.” I pointed out that, according to Garner’s Modern English Usage, the correct pronunciation is “ah-mend,” rather than “al-mend” (Bryan A. Garner, Garner’s Modern English Usage, 4th ed. [New York: Oxford University Press, 2016], s.v. “Pronunciation”).
As a lover of both the written word and the spoken word, I feel the English language carries an unmatched and unending fascination. So, when I discover a credible new tidbit of linguistic information, I grab it with the zeal and exhilaration of someone finding cash in the pocket of their old winter coat.
But I was about to learn that not everyone feels this way.
The morning after I shared this revelation with the world, I awoke to double-digit notifications from comments on the Twitter thread. A few kindred spirits shared my joy of language and knowledge, but most of the comments were angry and defensive. I had raised the ire of the Twitter trolls. There was no going back now.
“I have never heard that in my life!” said one. Another: “I’m going to challenge this!” Still another: “It’s not a silent L, and I will die on THAT hill!” To settle the score, I uploaded a photo from the “Commonly Mispronounced Words” section (Garner, 737). Soon after, the trolls disappeared.
What is proper English?
This incident taught me a valuable lesson. Two, in fact. The first is that even in our modern age where we use Short Message Service (SMS) language (“Np, bro!”; “Had a gr8 time!”; “Thx 4 the lolz!”) and emojis in place of words—not to mention our inexplicable, mind-numbing tendency to abbreviate words that have no logical abbreviation (e.g., “sched” [sounds like “skej”] for schedule)—there are those who still care about proper English usage. What constitutes proper English usage brings me to the second lesson gleaned from this experience: the language wars are not over. Not even close.
Garner’s Modern English Usage (now in its fifth edition) was originally published in 1998 under the title A Dictionary of Modern American Usage. It is a comprehensive and exhaustively researched usage dictionary that has been praised by Business Insider, The Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Review of Books, Publishers Weekly, and The New York Times. Garner’s indispensable reference work was also the subject of the glowing, near-worshipful review by the late author David Foster Wallace entitled “Authority and American Usage.”
Bryan A. Garner: editor, lawyer, grammarian, and lexicographer
Bryan A. Garner is a world-renowned editor, lawyer, grammarian, and lexicographer. He has written more than 25 books, including The Winning Brief: 100 Tips for Persuasive Briefing in Trial and Appellate Courts; Guidelines for Drafting and Editing Legislation; and Garner on Language and Writing: Selected Essays and Speeches of Bryan A. Garner, which includes a foreword by the late Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. He is the editor-in-chief of Black’s Law Dictionary, one of the most valuable and widely used legal resources in the world. And in December 2020, Garner appeared before the Supreme Court of the United States on behalf of Noah Duguid (a Montana resident who claimed Facebook sent him numerous text messages without his consent) to parse the statutory language used in Facebook’s defence in Facebook, Inc. v. Duguid. (For those interested in listening to Garner’s argument on behalf of Duguid, the recording is available here. Garner appears at the 44-minute mark.) He is also president of LawProse Inc.
Language wars: prescriptivists and descriptivists
Garner’s Modern English Usage has served as a mediator in the language wars in which the opposing sides—prescriptivists and descriptivists—fight with a level of contempt and ferocity typically reserved for political circles. For the uninitiated, Garner’s definition of the two sides is as follows: “Prescribers seek to guide users of a language—including native speakers—on how to handle words as effectively as possible. Describers seek to discover the facts of how native speakers actually use their language. An outsider might think that these are complementary goals. In fact, though, insiders typically view them as incompatible” (Garner, xxxiii).
Garner’s essay “Making Peace in the Language Wars,” included in the book’s front matter, is his attempt at bringing the two sides together and finding some common ground. He makes a cohesive argument that highlights the value found in both sides and ties them together using three points on which describers and prescribers could agree.
Mondegreens and portmanteaus
Garner’s Modern English Usage is an essential resource that should be on every editor and writer’s bookshelf and is available in both print and digital formats. The digital version is helpful in locating a quick answer to a question. But for anyone interested in diving into Garner’s world, exploring it, and coming across the really exciting discoveries, the print edition is where it’s at. How else would I have discovered that the word-blending phenomenon that gave us terms like “Bennifer” and “Brangelina” is known as a “portmanteau”? Or that the technical term for “a misheard lyric, saying, catchphrase, or slogan” is a “mondegreen”? (Garner, s.v. “Mondegreens”). This discovery allows me to use proper terminology in admitting that I’ve been singing “Bennie and the Jets” entirely in mondegreens all these years.
Language is fun
The world has seen incredible changes since Garner’s Modern English Usage first hit the bookshelves in 1998. In addition to the changes in usage brought about by smartphones and the internet, changes to the grammar rules of yore have also taken place. In certain cases, it is now okay to split an infinitive. And to end a sentence with a preposition is no longer the cardinal sin it once was (although, it’s still better if you don’t). Twenty-five years later, Garner’s Modern English Usage is still here, helping us navigate the linguistic landscape by way of its “Language-Change Index” (with Garner’s hilarious accompanying analogies for the various stages), etymologies, and real-world examples in every entry.
But some things don’t change. Writers and editors still need a reputable resource that can give answers to usage-related questions, as well as provide solid rules to anchor good standard written English. Garner’s Modern English Usage offers all of that and more, while maintaining a sense of humour. What sets this book apart from other usage dictionaries is that Bryan A. Garner never lets his readers forget that language is fun.
Bethany Lake is an editor, novelist, and playwright living in Mount Uniacke, Nova Scotia.
This article was copy edited by Jennifer D. Foster, a Toronto-based freelance editor, writer, and mentor. Her company is Planet Word.
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